The Pegasus Awards

Apology

Bill Roper and Gretchen Roper

Pegasus Nominations

Year Category
Sample
2014 Best Classic Filk Song
2013 Best Filk Song
2008 Best Comedy Song
 
I surprised Gretchen with the chorus for this song one night when she came home from a Capricon meeting. It didn't take long to figure out exactly what it was about. - Bill Roper

Apology

Lyrics ©2004 by Bill and Gretchen Roper
Music ©2004 by Bill Roper
Lyric posted with permission of the authors


Color Commentary:
Bill's parts
Gretchen's parts

Christmas time is coming and we really need a tree.
We can get one in Wisconsin. You can do that without me.
So I set out in my Sable on a simple quest to find
The perfect tree I pictured in my mind.
I can get the bells and bulbs and balls unpacked
So then I’ll have it ready when he’s back.
I can’t wait to see her face when I arrive.
And I watched a Christmas tree pull in the drive.

(Spoken)
Is that thing going to fit through the door?

It looked smaller in the woods.
Didn’t you notice it was bigger than the car you strapped it to?
And I shall call it "Treezilla"!
And did you get a stand for "Treezilla"?
.....Oops.

(Chorus)
You were right and I was wrong.
And there is nothing I can do except admit it in my song.
‘Cause you were right – I made a mess.
You know I thought I had the answers but I got it wrong I guess.
‘Cause you were right – as right as rain
And I guess I should apologize for thinking you insane
When you were right.

I set out on the highway with no plan.
No need to ask directions. You’re a man.
We’ll find a place to stay on down the line.
You’re sure that everything will work out fine.
But when I go in asking for a room,
I discover that you’ve led us to our doom.

So tell me, how was I supposed to guess
That every room was booked by a music fest?

(Spoken)
It seems there’s a major country music festival in southeastern Ohio that booked every room for a hundred miles in all directions.

Now, who could have predicted that?
.....Triple A?

(Chorus)

We need to cook this bag of frozen fries.
If we bake them in the oven, I’ll despise
Their soft and mealy texture. We should fry them in deep fat.
But I never learned the way of doing that.
You know, this bag of fries is kinda old.
They’re covered up in ice and really cold.

I may have let the oil become too hot,
This whole bag of fries will cool it down a lot.

(Spoken)
And was there supposed to be a pillar of flame reaching to the ceiling?

I think I may have volatilized some of the oil.
YOU ALMOST "VOLATIZED" MY KITCHEN!
But the fries are going to be nice and crisp!
....Oh, good.

(Chorus)

Tonight I’ve got a meeting. I need tires for the car.
I can get them at the warehouse club – it isn’t very far.
I’ve got time to do some shopping – I can take a book to read.
Well, then pick up anything you think we need.
Like towels or toilet paper or some soap.
I didn’t see your eyes light up with hope.

So you came from the meeting and you found
I’d wired the living room up for surround.

(Spoken)
Who told you that you could get surround speakers?

You said get anything I thought we needed.
And we need surround sound?
Well, just think of it. We’ll be watching the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition and you’ll be able to hear old Shelob sneaking right up behind you.
Oh, that’s exactly what I need.
That’s what I thought.

(Alternate chorus)
I was right and you were wrong.
And there is nothing I can do except remind you in my song,
‘Cause I was right – you should have guessed.
You know you thought you had the answers, but you found that I knew best,
‘Cause I was right – as right as rain.
And you know you should apologize for thinking me insane
When I was right.

(Spoken)
I should apologize for thinking you're insane?

That's right.
Ok. I'm sorry you're a crazy person.
Well, I'm glad we got that straightened out.

 

 

 

 

 
 
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