I Built A Time Machine

Eric Distad

Pegasus Awards
Award	Year	Category
	2021	Best Mad Science Song

Originally written for the OVFF 2015 Song Writing Contest. The theme was Time After Time.

I Built A Time Machine

Copyright ©2015 by Eric Distad
Used by permission - All Rights Reserved

When I show up on Monday
He's waiting there for me
A stupid smirk
showing that he knows

We call him "The Spoiler"
Because this villain lies in wait
To reveal the ending
of our favorite shows

But I've got a secret plan
to finally foil the spoiler man

I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
We'll alter time's flow
To catch my favorite show
And then I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

My new remote control
is really universal
It can change channels
just like you expect
But I can fast forward
and rewind time
Pause the universe
But I don't know what
happens when you hit eject

And when I don't understand a thing
I've got close captioning

I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
We'll alter time's flow
To catch my favorite show
And I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

I'll Skip my way to the future
Grab a place in line
To see Star Wars Episode 94
I'll grab a soylent smoothie
And watch Star Trek's fifth reboot
Where Absolutely Everyone's Gone Before

Dimension jump to a different sky
To see Season 2 of Firefly

I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
I built a time machine
'cause I don't have DVR
We'll alter time's flow
To catch my favorite show
And I will always know
How the story goes
I built a time machine

They say use this power
for the good of humanity
But I'd screw up the timeline
oh so permanently
I figure I'm safe
just watching a show
One little look
no one will know

Then one day I dropped it
the remote shorted out
Now I'm stuck in a loop
again and again
Watching the same 20 minutes
over and over
Please someone
Won't you tell me how it ends!

I built a time machine
because I don't have a dvr
Now I broke my time machine
and I still don't have a dvr
We'll alter times flow
to catch our favorite show
Please someone let me know
How the story goes

I built a time machine

I built a time machine
now I'm stuck looping again
Please save me Spoiler
Please Tell me the end