Alien Salad Abduction

Chris Conway

Alien Salad Abduction

Music & Lyrics Chris Conway
Lyrics posted with permission of the author

When I was a kid maybe 8 or so
I heard my mama shouting from the floor below
She pointed to the fridge I was in trouble - just a hunch
She said "What happened to the salad that I made for our lunch?"
and I said...

Extra-terrestrials abducted all the vegetables
I know it sounds incredible but anyone can see
That it's all part of their master plan
To take them to their planet and
Create the greatest salads in the galaxy

As a representative of my generation
I won a prize to talk at the United Nations
I walked up to the mike, an expectant hush grew
And I paused...took a deep breath ...and shouted
"Whatcha gonna do about the

Extra terrestrials abducting all the vegetables?
I know it sounds incredible but anyone can see
That it's all part of their masterplan
To take them to their planet and
Create the greatest salads in the galaxy"

Well the first thing I noticed was an eerie light
A starship landing in the middle of the night
I looked out of the window and there running through my hedge
Were 20 green aliens stealing my veg.

I said "Aliens oh aliens please take me with you
I want to learn to make salad like the aliens do
I'll help you with the chopping up' I'll bring my own knife"
They said - "No we only take away intelligent life"
Said the...

Extra terrestrials abducting MY vegetables
I know it sounds incredible but anyone can see
That it's all part of their masterplan
To take them to their planet and
Create the greatest salads in the galaxy

So they turned me to an alien and taught me their ways
With Thousand Planet Dressing and Arcturan mayonaise
We'll take over the universe but not by the sword
We'll fight them on the buffets and the smorgasbords!!

We've really done our research and we've got our own style
We'll infiltrate your planet with a salad and a smile
With outlets openning all over the place
Next time you have a salad it could come from outer space!!!
From the

Extra terrestrials abducting all the vegetables
I know it sounds incredible but anyone can see
That it's all part of their masterplan
To take them to their planet and
Create the greatest salads in the galaxy