Fluorine Atom

Paul Estin

Fluorine Atom

Copyright ©2003 by Paul Estin - All Rights Reserved
Lyrics posted by permission of the author

Back in college, I knew a gal named Laura
She was sweet and perky; you'd like her if ya saw her
Now it turned out Laura already had a boyfriend
In her behavior, she displayed a rather strange trend
Seemed clear to all of us, she was not in love with him
But it still took months until she ... broke out of that rhythm!

But just a few days later... she was seeing the next guy who tried to date her
It reminded me of somethin' I learned in chemistry... (You see:)

[Chorus:]
She- e- e's a fluorine atom!
She never stays in a single state for long!
She bonds energetically... with the next cute guy she see-ee-ees!
Oh, how come that next guy is never me?

There were many folks who followed the same pattern
Be it biochemical, or the influence of Saturn,
I'd meet another woman who seemed to fit the label
For her, to be single simply... was not stable!
To break up caused great sorrow... but she'd meet some new guy by tomorrow
She's Element Nine on the Periodic Table! (I'm sayin':)

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
Whether her name's Diane, Julie, Jean, or Stef
She's a halogen, symbol is the letter "F"
She's the most electronegative ion
Always needin' a new guy to tie on (& try on & lie on...)

Well, years passed by, you'd think I'd learned my lesson
But I met a special gal I was mentally undressin'
She was attached, but I was willing to wait
Once they broke up, I asked her out on a date... (but then)
She gave this speech, how she had to be alone, she swore it
Fly solo for awhile? She said she needed... to explore it...

With me it was just platonic.. but soon she found a bond more ionic!
Did he get the same speech, or did he just ignore it? (Either way:)

[Final chorus:]
She- e- e's a fluorine atom!
She never stays for long in a single state!
Again, it's just like chem class, but the only way that I'm cast
Is as Helium or another noble gas!
'Cause she bonds energetically... with the next cute guy she see-ee-ees!
Oh, how come that next guy is never me?
He's never me!