Job the Armored Donkey

Rhiannon's Lark

Job the Armored Donkey

Lyrics Copyright © by Rhiannon's Lark
Sung to the tune of "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot
Lyrics posted by permission of the author

Verse 1:
The legend lives on though the years passed are long
Since my very first time campaigning.
A party of four we were ready for war
Though three of us had zero training.

My character's build was a strange mix of skills
She could move silently and cast glamours
I'd never have bet that her strongest asset
Was her penchant for making great armor.

A pack mule we sought for the gear we had bought
And we soon found one that was quite hardy
Then in my spare time I mastered a design
Of lizard-scale mail for the donkey.

Chorus:
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.

Verse 2:
Our first mission in there's a river to swim
We fret over whether Job will sink
His light lizard mail lets him ford it quite well
But he brays as he reaches the far bank.

He's seen a bright flash from the depths and we dash
Back into the river to search it
We come up with gold and treasure unforetold
His keen eye has made this trip worth it.

Chorus:
Oh we're rich thanks to Job the donkey.
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.

Verse 3:
It's not long at all till we're caught in a squall
And we have to make camp in the open
We awake in the night, 50 orcs we must fight
And Job's hobble we see has been broken

The orcs come en masse, 10 to each one of us
Their arrows will take us life and limb
Job gallops the line, catching each one in time
And the bolts just shatter against him.

Chorus:
Oh we're alive thanks to Job the donkey.
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.

My friends you can laugh, I too thought it a gaffe
I mean who makes a donkey wear scale mail?
Yet time and again he's been more than a friend
Our adventures sans Job would surely fail.

He's saved all our lives about 34 times
And he's made us obscenely wealthy
We're famed cross the land thanks to him in our band
And we count him as one of the family.

Chorus:
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.
Oh oh it's Job the Armored Donkey.