Marcon Ballroom

Anne Passovoy

It was the first Marcon we ever went to, and we were some kind of guest, which kind I don't remember.

It was one of the first times the DI had enough money amongst us to get a suite, and we got it for the express purpose of having a place to filk, Cons at that time were indifferent at best to filkers, and Marcon had been actively hostile in years past.

The function room we were led to that night was bare, huge, and freezing! We did our best, but being used to the cozier atmosphere of Room Sings, it just wasn't the same.

And we were really pissed off at the hotel, who had promised us blocking and signally failed to deliver.

Marcon Ballroom

Copyright © Anne Passovoy - All Rights Reserved
Sung to Plastic Jesus by Ernie Marrs
Lyric posted with permission of the author

In these air-conditioned breezes
Here I sit, while my ass freezes,
In the ballroom of this big hotel.
Hotels know that cons are raucous -
Why in God's name can't they block us
Where we won't freak out their clientele?

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom,
Sitting on my chilly plastic seat.
The hotel must have said "The train's in,
Here's our chance to stuff Mundanes in
Every room around the Dorsai suite."

It's midnight, and we're getting noisy.
They move in some gent from Boise.
Soon he's hearing music in the halls.
Then thirty voices hit the chorus -
Oops, I guess the plywood's porous -
The little guy next door is climbing walls.

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom,
Sitting here in exile on the floor.
O, will the Fans forevermore sigh
"Nothing human stops a Dorsai,
'Cept three tourists banging on the door?"

It's one little guy and two old ladies
Jumping up and down and raising Hades,
Hearing all the music in our room.
The final splatter from the pigeon
Must have been "Old Time Religion".
They understood enough to drop the boom.

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom,
Here we sit, risking frozen feet.
The only place we can go next is
Down in the lobby, where the desk is
Always heard it said, "Revenge is sweet".

Marcon Ballroom, Marcon Ballroom,
Years and fans and songs may come and go;
The trick hotels will always favor is
Making sure your next door neighbor is
Someone guaranteed to close your show.