My Jalapeno Man

Debbie Ridpath Ohi

My Jalapeno Man

Copyright © Debbie Ridpath Ohi- All Rights Reserved
Lyrics posted with permission of the Author

My life used to be one of taste ennui
Each meal was an unbearable bore
The boil-everything game was always the same
Until a stranger moved in next door.

He invited me over for dinner
I brought wine: Chardonnay '91
I was amazed at the size of his...kitchen
But the evening had not yet begun.

I watched him juggle his spices
With a sure and expert ease
"You've done this before", I murmured -
Melting weak at the knees.

His gaze burned into mine, as he
chopped chilies into the pot
He said, "I'm going to cook you your food now
and I hope you like it...HOT."

I was nervous when we sat down at the table
And I trembled as he put things on my plate
But he calmed me down as well as he was able
'Till I smelled the food and began to salivate.

The first mouthful seared the lining of my throat
And it felt as though a fork was in my lung.
"It always hurts a bit in the beginning,"
he said, "And I see, you have a virgin tongue."

REPEAT CHORUS:

By the second course my tongue had acclimated
I cried out for more and he happily complied
It was hours before the two of us were sated
I never felt so full, so satisfied!

It took me seven weeks to fully recover
And though he's gone, I still feel a desire
For my luscious jalapeño lover
For none can match his culinary fire.