Truck Driving Vampire

Michael Longcor

Appears on the album Kitchen Junk Drawer. Michael's material is available from Firebird Arts and Music.

Truck Driving Vampire

Words and Music Copyright © by Michael Longcor
Recording Copyright © by Firebird Arts & Music/BMI.
Used by permission.

I was parkin' my eighteen-wheeler outside of New Orleans,
When a big damn bat flew into the cab and I nearly soiled my jeans.
He latched onto my jugular and started chowin' down.
When I opened my eyes, much to my surprise, I'd become what I am now.

Chorus:
I'm a truck drivin' vampire, I only drive by night.
A truck drivin' vampire, undead, but not uptight.
I'm a good ol' nosferatu, and an eighteen-wheelin' stud,
Wearin' white socks, drinkin' Blue Ribbon, and redneck blood.

I wear my shiny cowboy boots, and a coal-black seed corn cap,
And a big, black cape with my CB handle embroidered on the back.
I eat at all the truck stops my rig should chance to pass,
But I never bite no furriners, 'cause garlic gives me gas.

(Chorus)

I got a box of Mississippi Delta dirt stashed back in my sleeper cab.
I've lost my trucker's tan, of course, but not my beer gut flab.
If the smokies pull me over in my overloaded Mack,
I use some vampire mind control, and then I have a snack.

(Chorus)

Playin' Bob Wills on the radio, and feelin' pretty good.
I got that white line fever and a hankerin' for red blood.
It's a carefree life I live now, and I have my job to thank,
'Cause I work at long-haul truckin' for the Interstate Blood Bank.

(Final Chorus)
I'm a truck drivin' vampire, I only drive by night.
A truck drivin' vampire, undead, but not uptight.
I'm a good ol' nosferatu, and an eighteen-wheelin' stud,
Huntin' for my victims like an evil Elmer Fudd,
("Shhhhh, be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting twuck dwivers, duh-huh-huh-huh.")
Wearin' white socks, drinkin' Blue Ribbon, and redneck blood.

(YEEEEHAA!)