The Pegasus Awards

Don't Push That Button

Duane Elms

Pegasus Nominations

Year Category Sample
2019 Best Sing-Along Song
2004 Best Classic Filk Song
1999 Best Fool Song  
1993 Best Humorous Song  

This is just a silly little cautionary tale written purely for fun. Most of us know someone like Fred and a lot of us wouldn't mind seeing this happen to him. - Duane Elms

You can view other songs by Duane at his website at

Don't Push That Button

Copyright Duane Elms- All Rights Reserved
Lyrics posted by permission of the author

Now Fred, he was precocious. He liked to poke and pry,
And stick his nose in everything that moved.
His parents often warned him, "Be careful what you try,"
And his incautious conduct disapproved.
But if it had a button, a lever or a knob,
Just like a magnet, it attracted Fred.
I wish I had a nickel, a farthing or a bob,
For every time his dear old mother said,

"Don't push that button! Jeezus, Fred,
Don't push that button! Use your head.
You don't know what it's hooked to, you don't know what it does.
You start that foolin' 'round and we'll be worse off than we wuz.
Don't push that button! Jeezus, Fred,
Don't push that button! Use your head.
Your luck won't last forever, as everybody knows.
I just hope I'm not with you when it goes."

Fred's tightwad Uncle Henry, woke up with pain one day.
An urgent triple bypass was performed.
The family went to visit, and there old Henry lay,
With medical technology adorned.
But mom went to the bathroom; the Dr. cornered dad,
And rich old Uncle Henry slipped away.
They found the will last evening, and everyone is glad
There wasn't anybody there to say,


It landed in the back yard, all saucer shaped and green,
And opened up and dropped it's gangway down.
Our Fred sneaked up inside it, astonished at the scene,
For buttons covered everything around.
There's pink and green and blue ones, of every shape and kind,
Including this gigantic one, bright red,
But once young Fred had pushed it, he almost lost his mind,
For this is what the flying saucer said.

Specimen collection cycle complete. Retrieving auto-return programming.
Lift-off countdown initiated at lift-off minus two seconds,
one zero whoooooossssshhhh.

It's been a week or two now, since we last heard from Fred,
And no one else has seen the boy around.
We dropped in Friday morning, to shake him out of bed,
But not a trace of Freddy could be found.
He wasn't in the back yard, although he left a mark,
This spot out back where all the grass is dead.
While some think it was foul play, and others just a lark,
I really think we've seen the last of Fred.

He pushed a button. That's our Fred.
He pushed a button. Lost his head.
He didn't read instructions, or find out what it did.
He jabbed his finger down and that's why Freddie's so well hid.
He pushed a button! Oh my, no! He pushed a button! 'Fraid it's so.
His luck, it must have run out. He's in over his head.
I doubt that we'll see anymore of Fred.


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