Jeff & Maya Bohnhoff

Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff have been playing music together since 1979. Jeff is a guitarist, songwriter, producer and recording engineer. Maya, in addition to having a gorgeous singing voice is a respected science fiction and fantasy author. They are known for writing both parodies and haunting original songs.

Jeff and Maya have recorded several CDs: Retro Rocket Science - a collection of wicked parodies of classic rock songs; Manhattan Sleeps which showcases original songs; another CD of parodies, Aliens Ate My Homework!; and a second CD of original songs, Möbius Street. They kept to the pattern and their latest release was another CD of parodies, Grated Hits. The video Jeff created of his parody Midichlorian Rhapsody (from Grated Hits) went viral on YouTube in late 2010.

They also act as studio musicians for Jeff's Mystic Fig Studios. Check it out to see what projects they've been up to!

When not working in their studio, they can usually be found at cons loitering around filk circles late at night. Jeff and Maya are also the co-creators of three children: Alex, Kristine, and Amanda.

Representative Work for the 2015 Pegasus Awards.

Hotel Dealer Floor (mp3)

Copyright © 1997 by Jeff Bohnhoff - All Rights Reserved
Used by permission.

Down a dark hotel hallway
Cooled breeze in my hair
Warm smell of espresso
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My purse grew heavy and my will grew dim
I had to shop there tonight

There she stood at the table
I heard a cloister bell
And I was thinking to myself
Could be Blake 7 or space opera hell
Then she held up a Bat'leth
From a Star Trek display
There were voices from the booth next door
I thought I heard them say

"Welcome to the hotel dealer floor"
"Such a lovely place, buy a warrior's mace"
"There's plenty of stuff on the hotel dealer floor"
"Any fannish gear, you can buy it here...."

Her mind is Bradbury twisted
She's one of Mercedes' friends
She's got a lot of pretty pretty goths
She calls fen
How they filk in the ballroom
All night bardic sets
Some lines they remember
Some lines they forget

I saw a gold shirted captain
At the end of the line
He said "We haven't had that Star Trek here since 1969"
And still those Cds are playing from far away
Stop you dead in the middle of the aisle
Just to hear them say

"Welcome to the hotel dealer floor"
"Such a lovely place to buy a latex face"
They're givin' it up on the hotel dealer floor"
I let down my guard, brought my credit card.

Magic cards on the table
Laid out to entice
She said "Old tapes of the Prisoner here, can be had for a price".
And in the con ops chamber they gather for their feast
Cold nachos and a keg of beer
Old Dr Who repeats
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
Had to get my credit balance back
To the place it was before
"Relax" said the gopher
But I was not deceived
Bring your checkbook to the dealer floor
And it can never leave....